Through my writings, you can see that I’m a visual person. I like looking through magazines and Pinterest and having an aesthetic feeling when inviting you to read my writings. I’ve found it helpful in my life because if I can picture something, it gives me the themes and questions as to why I want to write what I write. With this post, I want to set up an atmosphere in your mind while reading about how I envision some of my times with Jesus when I have many questions.
When I envision Jesus and me talking, we are often sitting in a room lit by a fireplace, and underneath us is a simple carpet—the kind that is sherpa and soft so that when you sit on it, you sink in. I have my notebook out as usual because I usually need to write my thoughts and questions down to ask Him. Sometimes, I get distracted and need to remind myself that I’ve been pondering specific questions that can be difficult to ask. He often reminds me that I can ask Him anything and that some of the answers won’t be what I expect, but I still ask Him no matter the answer.
As I sip my tea and take a deep breath, some of my questions come out in a shaky voice because even though in my heart I know He knows all my flaws and timid questions, saying them out loud is the hardest thing because it makes me sound like I doubt Him. In truth, all I desire is to know how to process them alongside Him and believe that He has good plans for me.
Jesus, am I living for you well?
Jesus, will my body ever feel better than it does?
Jesus, I desire to date, but I’m nervous it may never happen.
Jesus, are my dreams your dreams for me?
These are a short list of the ones I’ve prayed before over and over again, and the best part about asking these out loud is that I’m honest about where I am at, and He loves that. Some of these He has answered directly and has given me so much joy through His responses, and others I am still asking, but He is having me be still and wait in them. In these conversations, I’m reminded of how many people in the Bible wait for a response from God, and often, it is not immediate, but through waiting and through having faith, He responds. I’m reminded that He has good plans for me even when I cannot see them, and because I cannot see them or it is not time to have them, I can rejoice in knowing and remembering He has so much more for me than my questions and mind can fathom!
Does this mean I leave our time together discouraged? Sometimes.
Does this mean I didn’t get my answer? Yes sometimes.
Should I come back with the same question again? Yes! Until there is a clear answer from Him, I’d encourage you to keep seeking. To this day, I have never gone on a date, and it is a desire of my heart to date and one day marry. He has yet to bring that person, but I haven’t lost hope or have stopped asking if that is in my future.
Some of my readers fear asking God for those things because they don’t want the answer. I understand! But why not ask? He already knows our hearts and who He has created us to be. Sometimes, what’s holding us back from moving forward is either believing a lie that we’ve spoken over ourselves so we don’t ask or believing it is possible, so we’ve closed off that part of our prayer life and then deemed it finished. Or because we have requested and haven’t received an answer, we think it is an automatic no, and we are hurt the next time we desire something.
Don’t give up on anything until God has opened or closed that door in your life. Asking questions to God isn’t bad, but unless you keep an open posture to allow Him to answer the way He intends and our hearts are open to His response, then questions can be given and renewed for our souls.
My questions grow as my relationship with Him grows, but I love that He desires to hear all of mine, from the smallest to the biggest. Personal, medical, family, friendships, future relationships, future husband, future kids, and so many others, but He isn’t phased by any of them because He holds my life in His hands. A commonly used verse is Jeremiah 29:11, and I believe in that scripture, but if you continue to verse twelve, it says, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”
When we go and pray (ask), He will listen. So be hopeful in your asking and be encouraged that He knows His plans for you, but He also wants to listen to your heart and questions.
What will you ask Him without regret?
What will you continue to ask Him about even if there isn’t a direct answer?
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