{Making our daily spaces adaptable without us trying.}
Today I am sitting at my favorite little coffee shop with a slice of coffee cake with a crumble on top that would make you think that it’s more of a dessert than a breakfast pastry and iced autumn chia with hints of maple and brown sugar. While entering this sweet little coffee shop I began looking for a place to sit but there are a few things I looked for that would make my experience all the better. A place to charge my laptop as I type away ideas, themes, and pages to post for my blog, a view that looks out to a cute downtown environment, and most importantly a spot my wheelchair can fit… Not exactly something everyone has to think about and it made me think to myself “why is it that I have to think about that every time I go somewhere?”
Disabilities have been around for centuries and we are in a time of life where many things are being adapted to help people with disabilities do more things than we ever could before. I’m so thankful for those people who are thinking outside the daily and pursuing and working on a lifestyle where a disabled community can live a new normal. But why is this so hard for other places, businesses, and our community to think like-minded or act more considerably to help grow this awareness?
Are they nervous it all takes more work and finances?
Does it seem more inconvenient because it will affect other customers?
Will it mean thinking a few steps ahead when planning a church service or event?
The answer is YES!
When anything becomes normalized in our lives, workspace, planning, mindset, and even the people we work with it becomes our new normal. We don’t even realize we set patterns and that is often why we go with the flow because it’s a set path to get something done and at that very well organized. Nothing wrong with a pattern or a routine of life! But when we close off creativity, adaptability, and thinking of our society we can become like everyone else and that is when we become settled with the normal. What if in our daily we looked around and thought of others and saw their needs first? What if when we are originating an event we think about ALL the people who might attend even if they show up or not? I’ve been to so many different events and so often I am welcomed and received but then expected to find my way to adapt the event for myself. Park my wheelchair somewhere it wouldn’t be in the way of others if I want to sit in an actual chair. Sitting in my wheelchair possibly means there won’t be a table low enough for me to sit at and connect with other women. What if we could change that for someone’s whole experience if we just thought through the details that shouldn’t be so extra? Just like my experience at my favorite coffee shop, my mind goes through all these details to make this outing fun, relaxing, and enjoyable but is a lot of work, but what if it didn’t have to be that way?
Hear me when I say that change does not come automatically but change must come gradually and when shared have the best way possible for people to want to change. I have had some amazing people in my life that showed me what this can be like and one of my favorites I love sharing is when I was in high school and still to this day I share it with people to bring awareness.
I was attending the Desperation Conference in Colorado Spring at New Life Church which was a highlight of my summer every year. It brought high schoolers from all over to hear about Jesus and encouraged them to follow after Him for themselves and to experience Him in a whole new way. I grew up around Desperation so it was my home church with my youth pastors and family and friends, and it was a safe environment for me to participate in. But even with all that support, a conference is a very busy time for our church with so many church groups coming from all over not to mention hosting hundreds of high schoolers! That particular year I was recovering from a leg surgery which meant I was mostly wheelchair-bound and needed to keep my leg well-protected so that it wouldn’t get bumped around or accidentally hit by an energetic teenager! Knowing that this would be yet another barrier to think about I told my friends that they could go ahead of me and save seats since it felt like a mob once those doors opened to get seats. “First Come First Serve” as they say… which is another phrase I’d like to take out of many people’s mindsets.
Before the first night of the conference began one of our youth pastors who was serving that night came to me and asked me to follow him to a side door away from the crowd beginning to line up. He took me inside the main auditorium where the band was getting ready to begin the first session, but instead of taking me to the wheelchair-designated area where I was expecting to sit that typically the furthest away from the stage and away from our youth group section they reserve for our youth group. He had moved chairs and taped a large square on the floor and had a sign that had my name on it. Without myself, my parents, or anyone else asking him for special accommodations Pastor Stephen had thought ahead, was sensitive to someone else needs and was willing to go the extra mile to make my experience at the Desperation Conference one that would stay with me forever. He let me park and said, “This is your spot for the rest of the conference if you need anything else you let me know.” Such simple words and such a beautiful act of kindness inspired me to write this post, and because of his loving heart towards a teenage girl who wouldn’t ask for special accommodations to be made for her.
It wasn’t expected.
It wasn’t asked for.
It wasn’t normal.
But the outcome became a testimony.
There have been striving in each generation to try and make disabilities a part of the world we live in and new things coming out every day to help us live what our new normal is, but I believe that there is so much more to be worked on that isn’t just a medical fix or a blue stamp or sign at a grocery store that “labels” handicap so people know who’s it for but a place where every business, church, travel experience, and special events can be accommodating in the daily. What if we began putting it in our plans when we start something? What if we made the phone call to parents when a field trip was happening and a child wanted to go but had a disability? What if instead of assuming the families or persons with a disability thought out all the accommodations and scenarios they needed and instead have those already made ready for them in our hotels, restaurants, coffee shops, workout facilities, vacation destinations, and church?
My two encouragements to my readers:
Readers Without Disabilities:
I am writing this specifically to you because I understand that change takes time. That this will take verbal communication with your co-workers to begin spreading awareness. That will take planning and research to prepare for these kinds of changes. And most importantly is that this change will make someone’s lifestyle change! The changes you make today could change a generation and to be one of the first to make those changes like Pastor Stephan could change the perspective and daily outcome of those with disabilities.
Readers with Disabilities:
You are being called out as well!
It took me years to voice my desire to be a part of what the world did effortlessly and without having to think of all the little details to be able to say yes to something “so simple.” Yes, we are capable to make accommodations for ourselves or do what I think is happening more often which is to not make any effort and either skip or miss out entirely because you’ve made a belief you don’t belong… DON’T EVER BELIEVE YOU DON’T BELONG!
For change to happen we need to stop playing the victim and stop letting the leftovers be handed to us. Be the one who wants to sit in the front of a conference with your wheelchair and be front and center. Be the one showing up to a coffee shop and moving chairs out of the way so you can get the view, of the charging wall, and enjoy the environment just like anyone else. When someone asks you what would make your experience better don’t say “nothing” say what you’d like so that it’s not extra anymore but becomes the daily normal!
I hope that one day when I go somewhere that I begin to see a disabled community living the life that maybe once was only imagined and maybe thought to be too uncomfortable or too cumbersome but now is accessible, accommodating, life-giving, and the new daily normal.
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