Dreams

When you hear the word Dream what does it mean to you? 

Do you think of sleep, Disney, imaginary places that you’ve read about? As a past preschool teacher I always used to think this word was used for little kids. I used it in questions or to start a conversation like, 

“What do you dream to be someday?” or “Did you dream in you sleep last night?” 

 

Reflecting on my childhood and going into my college and adult years I can remember what inspired me to dream to become a teacher and a writer. I was homeschool and had some learning challenges in certain subject that had me going to tudors to help me learn. My most memorable teachers I learned from were Mrs. Patrisha who taught me the most important things around reading and how it was so important but can lead you to so many places. Her house was old and huge with an old clock that chimed every hour. Before I accepted I liked Mrs. Patrisha she had a dog named Mick who looked exactly like Lassie from the old tv show. This was a season in life were I hated school and had a lot of anxiety about what life held for me in the future. The second teacher I had who influenced me was Mrs. Radakovich.

Yes, that was her name imagine saying that over and over again. We needed up giving each other nick names because I didn’t want to write her name on each paper I had to write for her. So, from now on were are calling her Mrs. R the rest of the time. She also created a passion for reading for me and introduced me to several different styles of books. As I read the books her technique was to have me right a review on what I read and how I felt about the characters. Little did I know then that’s how I would write for the rest of my life about sermons, emotions in my journal, and how I would talk to my own kids one day in my classroom. Having children explain things to me instead of assuming or jumping into something they could figure out with a slow approach. 

These teachers helped me discover what I wanted to be when I grew up because they invested so much into me that I wanted to carry on the legacy of a meaningful teacher who truly cared not just about the practical side of learning but to teach me how to dream and grow deeper in my passions. Maybe some of you have people like that in your life and you heard me talk about how later on I appreciated them for all the hard work they did, but I wish I would have been able to go back and thank them. If you don’t have those people I found inspiration from books, shows, and authors and bloggers who shared their stories through writing and teaching. 

From the Anne of Green Gables books, Little House on the Prairie series, and as I got older so many Christian authors and bloggers who inspire me to use my teaching and writing skills to bless and produce fruit to others learning about who God is in their own journey. Dreaming starts young and often times we don’t look back to the past, but if we do we can see the footprints that started from playing teacher to learning to journey and write down thoughts and prayers through church. As you move into what you think you might be interested in pursuing as a passion maybe you can think back to what made you interested in what you are interested in now. Some things will be revealed later on which we will talk about later, but for now take time to reflect on what God is doing now that He started back then. 

Sometimes we hold onto old dreams too long. 

When I graduated community college with my certificates in Early Childhood Education I had long to spread my wings and teach outside of my hometown of Colorado Springs. I had hours of service as practicums for school to learn the public school setting and had worked at my church for two years as different roles on their children’s ministry team. In the summer of 2018 I moved to Dallas Texas to teach at a summer program as a lead preschool teacher at church. My whole world felt to open up all at once and getting an offer right after graduating seemed too good to be true. 

This was my dream for so many years! 

What more could I ask for…

God finally answered my prayer after so many years…

That dream I thought would be my happy ever after turned into a time of hardship, darkness, and questioning hearing God. For two months I couldn’t get settled and my support I reached out too pushed me away. The job was still wonderful but having no support and little help made my anxious and depend on others too much to the point were one of my deepest fears came true. That I was a burden on the people around me and the dream became a nightmare. At the end of the summer my long sought after dream came to a close as I moved back home feeling lost and defeated. I didn’t allow God to come into the hurt but instead I was angry at him for allowing all of me to go into this one thing to only end it. 

Why would He send me?

Why would he put this on my heart for so many years?

If this was the dream He placed in me why would He shut the door in my face?

So many questions lead to two years of having to heal, let go, forgive, and re-dream to start a new life. God did not send me to Texas to punish me, but to show me that if this dream he gave me became my idol that He would take it away to bring me back to what He had for me. That sometimes dream will be  temporary or season, but not always ending in happily ever after. The dreams I’m having now are very different and sometimes scary to even try to dream them to another level, but what I’m learning is that God has us all dream differently. 

For those who have one dream and you’ve heard clearly from the Lord then take it and run with it! But do not let the dream God has placed within you become something you carry alone or do on your own. Pray that the Lord continues to give you guidance and clarity that He still wants you to go to that job, that place, that relationship, that missions trip, etc. Dreams have the power to push us forward and the power to distract us. 

For my day to day or dream to dream people out there. Don’t get discouraged. 

God’s plan for you are given in smaller amounts at a time and are slower to brew, but they still have a purpose in your life. We often think that we have to know what we like and what we are going to do right away because the world asks us those questions constantly. But what I think of is this…Dream big!