I just recently went to Target, and it’s one of my favorite places to shop for multiple reasons, but one section I always have fun looking at is their seasonal section in the very back of the store, where they bring in what seems to be something you must have because it is in season! If you’ve read my blog or at least seen the color scheme, you’ll know I am counting down the days to when I see pumpkins in the dollar section in the front and in the way back, all the pumpkin spice signs, creamers, and decor that scream Gilmore Girls! But before we can get to that glorious moment, we must have our August burst of seasonal needs… school supplies. For kids, the dreaded back-to-school section with backpacks, pencils, and highlighter packets that are too big to ever use in a semester! (haha) I grew up homeschool, but as a teacher, there was joy and dread in that transition for me as well. But one thing I always loved, even as a homeschool girl, was seeing the multicolored pack of Post-It notes or some sticky notes. I love these little pads of paper that could be used in so many ways, from marking a good book I’m reading, color coordinating my three-ring binders for curriculum organization, and writing down important notes that I want to remind me of an important meeting I had on my bulletin board. Can you tell I’m an organized teacher and coordinator in my office space, and back then, even as a fifteen-year-old girl? Am I OCD? Maybe!
But outside that, the organized girl also needed these Post-it notes for another reason. Feeling like I could write down my prayer requests and place them in a prayer notebook to hopefully one day flip back to that notebook and be able to grab that post-it and say that God answered that prayer request or answered that question I had that only He could answer. That secret written on that little pink sticky note that only Jesus and I read over and over again because this request wasn’t for the faint of heart or just an out loud prayer request shared at church with everyone but a note so thoughout that when I would speak it out loud it was a safe place and if I had to wait for an answer I knew it could only be by His timing and words. Questions that I think many of us have asked Jesus as young women, but adding my disability insecurity on top of that.
“I know I’m a daughter of the King, but if I am, why would He make me like this?” Am I not your princess, precious, chosen daughter of God?”
“If you are a God of healing, why didn’t you prove that before I had to suffer this long? Why are you healing others around me and around the world and not me? Did I do something wrong?”
“I want to be loved. I want to be noticed. I want to be asked out just like other girls around me. I am ok with my disability, why can’t guys? I’m noticed in two ways. I’m so strong and I’ll be praying for you, and in staring and awkwardness. God, if you call me beautiful, why is it so hard for others to see that?”
Have you had these thoughts and ever put them on paper? Have you ever been that honest with your thoughts with Jesus? So often we throw around the comment, “God knows all things, so why do I have to say it?” I thought that for a long time and it often made me feel shameful for even thinking those thoughts that I tried to not feel them at all, but I love how the Bible shows us people that lituraly said it all out loud and then we got those stories writen for us to look back on and encourage us to get it out.
Abraham and Sara wanted kids, and Abraham spoke about it often with God. In hopeful times, insurmountable times, and it took years for that ask to be answered, too. Joseph went through trial after trial and was given a beautiful gift that only seemed to give him hardship, hate, and ruin his goals. How is a good God allowing this to happen and allowing him to wait for an answer? Ruth chose to follow God, even though her culture was different; she chose to follow God only to lose her husband and have to live an outcast life, and only have prayer to rely on and wait for the answer from God on what the next step was to be. There are so many stories in the Bible that you can read that start with a prayer or a question that only God can answer. When I read the Psalms from David, he laid it all out before God in agony, questioning, soul searching, trying to figure out his sticky note questions just like I was trying to do, and the only way we could do that was being bluntly honest and out loud about it just between the two of us.
I think God gave us great examples to live by if we read the Bible less like a storybook and more like a reference book of how God was there the whole time even when each one of those individual people were waiting, crying out, and holding on to a hope that they didn’t even know if in there lifetime they’d get the answer to it but the only person to ask was God.
What are you asking God about? Little things, Big things, Questions that you “know” the answer to, but in honesty, you don’t, but you don’t want the real answer? Are you asking Him at all, or are you settling for the “best” you think He can give and settling for the bare minimum? What are you saying in your head that you’re giving yourself an answer to because doubt, disappointment, and the past have written your thought process for you! Can we be real and out loud about this for a minute and Post-it outside our minds!
The people in our Bibles lived actual lives and had their moments with God. He answered them even if that was not the answer they were hoping for or even truly got to see right away. He was faithful, and He is still faithful. How do I know this? Because I can now look back at my Jr. High journals, Post-it notes, and reflect on what He’s done and me, even though years have gone past, there are still notes I’ve re-written and I’m still posting them, asking certain questions that He is still working with me. He has given me peace in moments of uncertainty. He has comforted me when I’ve lashed out in discontentment and anger because I’ve cried out over and over again for something, and still I’m waiting, and He’s ok with that. He desires all of me.
He desires ALL of you.
He wants your hundreds of questions, and in HIS timing, He will answer.
Post-It, continue to believe in it, fight for it, talk about it, and then let go and surrender it.
One of my prayers since forever has been healing. I’ve learned that healing doesn’t just mean physical, although in my story it would make the most sense to be free of my physical troubles, but here’s where I’ve seen my Post-it note prayer working. I’ve been healed after every surgery, and I’m living the life He’s given me. I’ve seen healing in my mental health because stereotypically I should be depressed, but instead I desire to share my struggles instead of letting them run my mind. I’ve been healed spiritually because I’ve had my moments with Jesus when I’ve wanted nothing to do with Him. After all, the answer He gave me was final and I didn’t want that answer, but after wrestling with Him, crying out to Him in frustration, and having a moment of letting Him guide me instead of my will, I’ve seen His will was better.
I have so many stories to share, just like these, in many areas of life, and I know that when you’ve been reading this, something has started stirring in you. Maybe a battle you’ve been fighting for a while, and this brings encouragement, maybe it’s a battle you haven’t wanted to start because it’s safer to stuff it instead of fight it, and now you are ready to try fighting remember that your not fighting alone or against Him but He is fight for you with you.
Maybe start a Post-it pad and write down a note a day, and make it your Post-it pad of prayers that is just between you and Jesus. Get real. Get Honest. Don’t Hold Back. Say anything! He’s ready. He’s willing. He’s Listening. Post-it on your heart and get ready to see the healing happen!
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